“Do NOT make holes in the back yard!” I yelled through the laundry room door. We had a huge downpour in Texas, so our backyard was a sloppy mess. Peering through the window, I see my kids jumping in the puddles, mud being flung onto the fence, at each other, and muddy handprints all over the side of the house.
I felt my chest tighten, anger rising because they proceeded to jump on the trampoline smearing mud everywhere. I opened the door again and before I could say anything my son yelled, “Come on Mom, we just wanted to have fun!”
My husband was sitting on the couch and said warmly, “Just let them be kids.” A phrase I usually use, but because all I could think about was the clean up and how bad our backyard looked, I missed their joyful faces.
How often do we get caught up in the day-to-day chores, trying to keep our house looking presentable, folding laundry that never ends, putting a meal on the table, washing dishes, making our front yards look perfect, planning a Pinterest perfect birthday party, and most importantly… making sure our Instagram “looks” like we have it all together…ultimately missing the silly, wonderful moments with our kids.
Oh, to be a mom before social media.
As a new mom I would look at social media and feel defeated. I was sleep deprived with 2 kids, hanging on by a thread with my own marriage trauma, thinking so many thoughts:
“They look SO happy!”
“How can this mom, who just had a baby, keep her house so clean?!”
“Oh, her baby sleeps through the night? What’s wrong with mine?”
“A new craft every day, I barely do 1 a month!”
“No bags under her eyes?! I look like a zombie.”
“An extravagant vacation- again? We can’t afford to do that- I hope our kids are still making good memories.”
“How can she have abs postpartum? I need to work out even more to get to that level.”
The comparison trap is real, and social media makes it worse.
Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
I love this quote by Theodore Rosevelt – “Don’t compare yourself to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
So, I stop the endless chasing of perfection and humble myself before the only one who is perfect, my savior, prince of peace.
When I look back at my childhood, I don’t remember what my birthday party decorations looked like, how clean our house was, if our family had matching outfits for church, elaborate dinner parties, or my parents glued to technology.
No, I remember:
- The people who were at my birthday party
- A house filled with toys scattered about
- Riding bike all over the country roads
- Combine rides with my Dad, picking field corn
- Rolling out pie crust with my Grandma
- Digging in the backyard looking for dinosaur bones
- Laughing so hard as my Grandma would push me on the swing singing “Mares-Z-Doats”
- Walks with my Mom, as she pulled us in a little red wagon
- Grandparents grilling hamburgers at our house after church
- Jumping into my Grandpas arms from the top bunk
- And the best memory – playing in the mud with my brothers
Let them be kids. Let them play in the mud.
Instead of comparing, trying so hard to keep up with the fake depiction of motherhood on social media, start by just being there with your kids. Make your own memories, unscripted. The best moments happen unplanned, in a messy house, with your child wearing mismatched clothes. The memory should live in your heart, not on social media.
Over every other woman in the world, God chose YOU to be your child’s mother.
You don’t need to be anyone else but yourself!
So, yea we are Mom’s with the pressures of social media, but oh, to be a confident Mom, transformed by the love of Jesus! I pray you can experience the full joy in Christ alone!
If you struggle with comparison, I would suggest to delete social media for a bit – and then go play in the mud 🙂
