My son is in 3rd grade and has been struggling in math. I thought I would be able to help him with his homework, but sadly I think 2nd grade math was where it ended for me. Thank goodness for Google!
It’s been hard to see him not understanding, so when his teacher sent me a message saying, “Eli got a 93 on his test and got to ring the bell!” I couldn’t help but get teary eyed, because I knew how hard it’s been for him, and HE DID IT! Later that night, after our bedtime prayers, my son looked up at me with sadness in his eyes and said, “Mommy, everyone clapped for me except for one person- she was mad and said bad job ..”
He was focused on the 1 person who didn’t clap and couldn’t hear the praise.
A wave of memories came flooding in – how many times have I listened to the wrong voice?
- As a Kid: before a gymnastics routine, cross country meet, or before I had to pole vault- “I don’t think you can do this.”
- In Highschool: after WINNING a basketball game, “You are the only one whos face gets so red after playing.”
- In College: comparing my art projects to others. “That girl will land a job way easier than you.”
- As an Adult: serving in Young Life, “God can’t use you at this school, you are too shy and have nothing in common.”
- In my Marriage: after a scar, “You aren’t pretty enough, you will never be able to trust again, this marriage will fail.”
- As a Mom: After having my second child, “These sleepless nights will NEVER end, and none of your friends are struggling like you.”
- Writing this Blog, “Don’t even bother, no one will want to read it.”
Psalm 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?
Here’s the thing. None of those voices were from God. And EVERY SINLGE THING I was attacked on was either something I loved, a talent, or something God was calling me to.
When you focus on insecurities or disappointments, anxiety rises, leaving you worried, depressed, and hopeless. I’ve been there. BUT I have also learned my triggers and how to shift my focus on the faithfulness of God.
There IS evil, and the devil WANTS you to focus on the negative. He WANTS marriages to fail, He WANTS you to stay stuck, He WANTS you to give up on your dreams. He WANTS you to listen to his voice only. AND he will do anything to stop you from advancing the kingdom.
If King David stayed stuck in his own head, failures, betrayals & hardships we would not have one of the greatest books in the bible, Psalms. He repented after his mistakes and kept pursuing, listening, and loving God.
Psalms 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me.
Psalm 16:7 I will praise the Lord who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad, and my tongue rejoices; and my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy one see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
We have to start asking ourselves when a negative thought comes in our mind, “Was that from God?”
John 10: 27
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
The more we are reading our bible, practicing thankfulness, taking the focus off ourselves, and trusting God, the quieter the negative talk becomes. Sometimes, if the fight is too hard, counseling can be a very helpful tool. It helped me learn my triggers and how to stop the negative spiral.
God’s voice MUST be the loudest voice in your life.
As my son was falling asleep, I told him, “That wasn’t nice, but you know what- that little girl was probably mad about something and took it out on you. Don’t let the 1 bad thing steal your joy. The only opinion that matters is God’s. And HE says you are loved.”
